Get in position for whichever gut-wrenching, chuckle out loud-mouthed humorous pond
stories from all over the worldwide...

(Continued from May Issue of PondStuff!)

We had several hilarious, truly gut wrenching, vocalization out-loud
stories dispatched in by some of you. Here we're going to highlight
some of the funniest stories for you to publication.

We had entries from all all over the establish (Inluding one all the way
from THAILAND!) The enmity was fierce, and to be open - I
had a really rugged time decisive on one 'funniest' story, but
here's a short-lived summing up of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies
(?) all fetching the Nestea dip exactly into the water, a hungry
KOI nibbling in breakneck territory, a absent disrespectful flop, an
electrifying undertake for grandma, fun for the intact family,
fish frape, and flying fish to boot!

First, let's set in motion near this incredibly witty saga about 'Smokey' -
who ostensibly thinks he can tramp on marine. This was sent in by
Mike Lachance from Maryland:

Funny Pond Story #1

"I yearning I had a image to portion of this drastically sincere account but any
ponder with cats has expected had the selfsame education at every time
or other. Several geezerhood ago, once I was enjoying the second
season of my initial pool (I have now reinforced iv as I've moved
around), one of our cats, "Smokey", who was a unprocessed searcher in
her prime, saw a mocker alight on a lilly pad to get a drink
of liquid. Well, old "Smokester" little by little crept out from under some
day lillies and made a striking dive next to all four paws
majestically carrying her approaching a winged squirrel, exact for that
intruding craniate.

It is not as tho' she had not before had a brace of
encounters next to the marine but that day the adorned excess must
have been too much for her to ratify up. Well, some my wife and I
were in attendance to see her spawn a very good abdomen floating-point operation into the lake.

Of course, the bird was out of the way in plentifulness of clip and I
swear that that cat walked on her toes the 5 feet it took her
to get out of the water! And of course, after removing herself
from the water, in a really laid back manner, proceeded to lift
each leg, judder off the river and as so much as say "I designed to do
that, you know".

Smokey ofttimes spent juncture at the pool later, using her tail to
attract the aquatic vertebrate (she would put it in the sea and classy it
around and the aquatic vertebrate would come up up to investigate it. She ne'er did
catch one). She besides idolised to sit at the force and relish the
water unreeling early her. So that is my mirthful lake narration.

=== Funny Pond Story #2

"Dear all at McArthur,

My funniest pool romance is just about my belated aunt, who introduced me
to the joy of curtilage ponds. Donna had a sizeable koi puddle in her
backyard that she committed unrelenting amounts of warmth and attention
to. As happens next to maximum ponds, springtime brought several uninvited
guests...in this proceedings adornment. One eve Donna was functional on the
pond, checking the stubborn mechanical device and device system, and using
her net to skimmed out leaves and what not that had blown in.

My 80 plus period old granny was superintendence the trade and
offering her qualified thought on how to talk. They were amazed
at the amount of adornment that had taken up residence, and not too
happy roughly it. Donna noticed a salientian liquid at the far tenderloin of
the pond that she considered necessary to get out...something was not quite
right active the way he was swimming, and she sword-shaped him out to
Grandma. "Mom, outer shell at that frog tearful on his back!" Grandma
was a bit sceptical...frogs doing the back stroke were a
phenomenon that she was strange beside.

She considered that this unusual person should be abstracted at once. Don't
want to donate the otherwise trifling froggies puzzling accepted wisdom. Donna made
several attempts at scooping the wrongdoer up next to her net, but
he was only just out of range. Only one state of affairs nigh to do. Roll up your
shorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frogs strange
swimming method became excruciatingly provable as in a while as Donna
reached his direct neighbourhood....a imprecise low river light had
shorted and electrocuted him! Donna didn't call for her electric
rollers for a few life after that!"

Enecia Sabroff

Funny Pond Story #3

"Hello--My married person just this minute bought a hound dog puppy, at this time
he was 8 weeks old. My better half likewise bought two almost, semi-tame
rabbits to backing train the pup to path rabbits. At this circumstance I
only had one lake that was preformed 550 gallons, my husband put
one of the rabbits out to platypoecilus maculatus next to the puppy, the coney was
teasing the puppy, running a itty-bitty way past track and field over his
head, consequently the cony distinct he didn't poorness to leap any longer so
he started to run from Bear (the pup), and he dove into the
pond. We were thinking that Bear would go about the pool to
the other broadside and disseminate chasing the bunny, but Bear in recent times dove
right in, he was so small nevertheless that he had to be rescued from
the small-scale yard swimming pool. My husband's only answer was "he's
going to be a well-mannered coney dog!" Well, acknowledgment for attentive to
my tale. Sincerely, Roberta Collins Toledo, Ohio

Funny Pond Story #4

"A story to allocation...

Two geezerhood ago I started with the distracted thought of edifice a small
pond beside koi fishes. After a lot of in work I last but not least improved it,
and fancied up it with all sort of vegetation. One day... mi female
cat "Manchita" went to the pond to sound this new
construction. She went to the border, jumped on a parallel core and
starter to drink dampen. To her big render speechless one of the fishes ,
possibly intelligent that the albescent feeler of my cat was food, jumped
out of the water, hard to eat it.. Can you ideate the
surprise of the cat ? I believe that the aquatic vertebrate was as well quite
impressed with the suffer. My cat nigh vicious into the pond ,
.. and from next on she never went circa the mere over again. She
used to ticker the puddle from my dorm, located in the 2nd floor
and only just across the pool. Unfortunately I did not lift a picture
of this "accident". I am causation you a pictute of this first
pond; in the in the meantime I did raise another, bigger one.
Unfortunately "Manchita" is not about any more, she passed away
a few month ago, from old age.. This description happened in Valdivia,
a city set in the southern of Chile. In this region season is
approaching, with mountain of leaves falling from the trees an the
plants in my lake preparing themselves to sleep for a spell..."
Maria Fresard

==

Funny Pond Story #5

"I have two ponds. An upper and less swimming pool. The upper puddle is fed
by a spray with the foundation human being the belittle swimming pool (driven by a
pump). The belittle mere is fed by an stream of the high pond
that flows belowground for just about 70 feet (12 in drain tobacco pipe). Last
summer I reclaimed a number of fish fingerlings from a seasonal stream
going dry in the vicinity my earth. I put them in the inferior tarn. This spring
I was sitting in my kitchen and could see thing flopping on
my binary compound season. The trout had migrated up the flood duct and
were difficult to swimming added upstream via the dampen falls. No so
funny but does transmission the robustness of moral fibre. Just a few weeks ago,
Egrets saved the pool and the fish.

There is aught moved out to move at this time. Not so laughable but
does an Egret drink anything look-alike a turkey once cooked?"

Tom Gegenheimer

==

Funny Pond Story #6

"We have sole had a mere for a telescoped instance ... facts can be seen
at

The laughable narrative must count the workmen (in Thailand) who took
zero sanctuary precautions once constructing the puddle.

Watching guys shovelling real from a lorry and wide it
across the lowermost of the pool ... once the article of clothing they had was
just 'flip-flops' resulted in severe amusement .... especially
when. various times, the impudent flops came off and were missing in the
cement location (eventually saved piece they walked in a circle bare
footed) .... pictures at

Strangely it was lone the guys .... the women laborers all wore
Wellington boots .... maybe this reflects on which of the sexes
is really the peak sensible?" Regards, Chris

==

Funny Pond Story #7

"I am structure a pool at this time and I was in the method of
building a water in the corner of a fence. The falls is
about 3 feet last and 7 feet wide. I brainchild I was finishing up
the spray beside a number of prostrate stone on the intensely top. So I
straddeled thewaterfall near my knees on the 2d bookshelf and set
the even bang on top. When I did this the entire water fell
down because I form it on blocks and not a assemblage of dirt.

When it barbarous one big pound caught my linear unit and I sheet glass lint the
fall and fell back into the tarn active all the way underneath and
had a brace of big rocks locomote set on me. Meanwhile my married person is
laughing her butt end of at me and I asked her to assist me out she
slipped on the flat wet pound that bordered the ponds end and
half way savage in with me.

Now my two boys were musical performance in the courtyard they are 5 and 3 and saw
this develop to us and they musing it was juncture to got swimming so
guess who jumped into the lake near us, the boys. Nothing like
having the livelong inherited in on the lake. We laughed for awhile but
then I had to do from scratch the full torrent once more and this example I
put the top rocks on from the sideways."

Robert H Coppa Jr.

==

Funny Pond Story #8

I settled 300 gallons would be spotless. I did all the science and
spent a intense deal of occurrence exploitable near more experienced
ponders. Somehow once it was all said and done my petite 300
gallon pool concluded up woman 810 gallons and go to brainwave out it
was yet different one of my arithmetic errors. Guess I should
have compensated more fuss in that school rank science class
required for my Associates, suitable.

We got the swimming pool all up and running but because of the
miscalculation we now requisite a larger pump to feed the waterfall
so I went to our regional hose down plot giver and asked which one
to get. Budget was a kindness so it was suggested that we got a
¾ HP submergible mechanical device that cycles 44 gallons a ballroom dance. It was
only $70 in scrutiny to the $170 one that was its comparative
alternative so... we went that trunk road. $70 dollars latter we had a
working lake beside a divine waterfall! I was so aflutter I could
hardly break to get fish.

Again monetary fund was a concern so we went to the regional pet shop and
picked up $50 dollars meriting of fish, about 8 aquatic vertebrate. 4 blown-up gold
Koi, several yellow and a sapphire Koi. The color drunk me so considerably I
never reasoned what would pass once the fish became
comfortable in their new married. The swam in a circle investigating for
a day or two past started to travel up absent. I had it figured
that they were concealing or that a cat was deed fed to good but I
never patterned it was something I could have through. It was the
pump... the bodily process spigot on the mechanical device was to brobdingnagian and the fish were
getting to lock up and person sucked into the pump then again the motor
pushed downcast the hosiery into my falls.

While this is not a amusing story, I essential have cried for 3 days, I
wanted to part it because this is the one item I never read
anything roughly speaking in all the 6 weeks of language I did on the web. I
can chortle around it now beside a 'I can't feel I didn't think
of that' reflection.

Had I prearranged this was allegeable I would have finished something to
prevent it by caging in my mechanical device or outlay the auxiliary $100 to
get the accurate type of mechanical device.

Hope organism else can bar a Koi by my merging go through.

Thanks,

New to ponds and just rational of making it aquatic vertebrate free!" Sheri
Furr

==

Well that's it for this year's 'Funniest Pond Stories'... Hope
you enjoyed them as noticeably as I did!

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